wind breaker
it was another fine night of idol. we played black till one. my friend was completely discombobulated by it, reconfigured the controller and detested the lack of violence. but he called every guy he took out garbage like ernest borgnine, so i was laughing. the walk home was windy and i had a pounder of a headache, so i jumped in a cab. the cabbies are always like where to, how do you get there? then you tell them, and they're like, i know! yikes sorry man, i'm just gonna sit quietly in the back here and feel bad about my need to give directions. i like rolling down the window and i think of all the cab rides i've taken. i used to interview cabbies with a tape recorder in chicago, it was my first exposure to them and i thought they were infinitely interesting. in philly i would have'm turn up the music loud, it was a town car then. in new york, i liked hanging on to the hand grip, cuz the ride would be like some shitty, scary carnival ride, like i like. last night the window was down and the winds couldn't catch up with us. we crossed the bridge over the obsidian river in silence.

yesterday i went through 200 pics, i'm probably giving myself too much work and it's not even done, but i'm gonna nip it in the bud today so it can be done with. (and to think there are even more hidden away on john's computer, shudder.) we just toured too much, saw too many things. it all has to be captured. it's fun though to go through the crowd shots. like that horrible thing that we're never supposed to forget, i never want to forget about the first year i toured, and how well i was treated by everyone.

monday was my last level three class, we have a show this sunday, a graduation show. our teacher didn't show up, and a replacement was there. he gave us all harsh notes, we all sucked, but i think we were psyched out by someone new being there. last class is a lovefest. but this was like that kids book, ms. nelson is missing. anyone remember that one? some classmates and i went out for a drink, but we still were kinda reeling from class. dismayed with ourselves. tonight is my second level four. my improv is getting worse i think than from those first few classes. and i wonder if it's because i'm getting further anf further from the confidence feed of tour. the good news i talked with my manager and there's a good chance we might do some shows in may to stretch the legs, as he put it. there may be a focus on fall with the new album and big tour, i dunno. it's all still up in the air. part of me wants more time on the album, part of me just wants to roll my sleeves up and try work twice as hard and get it done so kids can have it all summer. time will tell the tale.

been reading little big man and enjoying a great deal but the copy is so old, when you dog ear a page, the corner snaps off. it's like reading a book made of a bunch of little declaration of independences. and these are my thoughts this cloudy wednesday.